Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
