I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
