It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
