Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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