Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
