yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
