maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
