I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
