New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My life is pants optional.
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