you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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