I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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