Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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