Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
