69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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