I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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