i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
