their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
