it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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