she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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