She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
