how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
