doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Congratulations! We have a period
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
