I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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