No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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