Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
