What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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