You work out of a Hotel?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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