I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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