just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
