and she was petting her beer can
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
