Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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