We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
