no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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