Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
