Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
