Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
