FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You're like the curious george of whores
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
