I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
