So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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