Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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