Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
