whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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