I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The air taste purple.
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