You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
