Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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