but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize