I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
