doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
