I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
