Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
