East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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