Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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