ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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