okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
